


these are the places i will always go.

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Fluff, Growing Up, M/M, idk louis grows up too fast and harry misses him, im sO BAD AT TAGGIN LIKE LITERALLY WH, this is short idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2017-12-29 13:34:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1006043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the world is a big place and harry grows up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	these are the places i will always go.

**Author's Note:**

> this is just short and rambly uh  
> title from down in the valley by the head and the heart.

Harry is 13 and he wants to change the world. He’s all long-limbs and messy hair and a wild heart, and he’s only just starting to learn about what it means to have to grow up but that’s okay. He’s eager and wide-eyed and the world has not yet made him angry.

Louis is 15 and he knows there’s more to life than his house in Doncaster. He just has to wait for it. It’s not that he expects the world to be handed to him on a silver platter; he’s just not used to taking chances. Louis is all gentle smiles and deliberate movements.

Louis is on the pitch kicking a football around when there’s shouting from behind the bleachers. Louis isn’t much physically, but that doesn’t stop him from storming around the back of the stands to see what’s going on.

There’s a group of his fellow football team crowding a boy who’s probably a year behind Louis. Nick has a bruised jaw and he’s spitting curses, but the boy with the bloody fist is stoically calm.

Louis crowds Nick and shoves him away from the battered boy. Louis is quietest on the team, but the team knows that when he steps in, its time to drop it. When the team starts grumbling and dispersing, Louis turns to the boy, wispy curls falling down his forehead and brown eyes set hard against him.

“You need to go to the infirmary or something?” Louis asks gently. He watches the boy’s jaw twitch.

“I could’ve handled it,” he says softly.

Louis shrugs. “Okay. I’m Louis. I’m sorry about my teammates.”

The boy presses his bloodied knuckles to his mouth for a moment before mumbling, “Liam” around the red skin.

Louis walks with Liam back to the dorms and that’s where he meets the others. Zayn is the one with heart-eyes for Liam and paint on his fingertips, Niall is the blue-eyed ball of curiosity with a smile too big for his face, and Harry. Harry is the boy with the folded legs and crooked smile when Liam introduces Louis to everyone.

And it’s that easy. Harry’s bright eyes and open heart compliment Louis’s bitten-down fingernails and quiet stares. Harry is 15 and schoolwork is the last thing on their minds—there’s more important things to focus on, like drinking without the dean finding out and getting laid and trying to figure out why they’re alive. Harry has a crush on Louis and Louis has a crush on Harry, but they’re burdened with teen angst and low self-esteem and stuttering hearts that are too nervous to speak up.

Harry is 16 and he feels like he’s on top of the world. They’re all knitted so close together and he doesn’t want to think about Louis and Zayn graduating in the spring and they’re all still so young and scared of adulthood and sometimes the common room couches are the safest place in the world. The world is too big and Harry keeps getting distracted by boys with blue eyes and delicate wrists. Harry is 16 and horny and curious about who likes who because there’s no way that seven of them can get along so well without there being some sort of crushes involved.

“I think Niall likes you,” Harry says to Louis one night in the cafeteria around his mug of coffee. Louis blushes and shrugs, because Louis knows that Harry is right but he doesn’t want to acknowledge it just yet.

Niall kisses Louis on the cheek at the winter ball and remains embarrassed about it for the rest of his life. Harry is definitely _not_ jealous. Harry definitely did _not_ bring Nick to the winter ball in an attempt to make Louis jealous, because that would be childish.

“You’re so jealous,” Zayn muttered to Harry when Harry sent Nick off to get punch. Harry had been watching Louis and Niall all night. But he’s not jealous. He just ached at the thought of Louis leaving.

Harry is taller than Louis, now, and Liam is all soft skin and serious frowns and Zayn just wants to draw on everything all the time and Niall is still growing into his bones. Louis only gives certain smiles to Harry and Harry hasn’t changed at all.

Louis kisses Harry on graduation day and then disappears to America, to Seattle, to a place so far away from Harry that he feels it in the marrow of his skeleton. Louis is 19 and free and his fingers are still raw from biting and his movements are still precise. Harry is 17 and maybe he’s not so eager to change the world anymore but that’s okay, because he’s found people who love him and that should be enough.

They’ve watched each other grow up. They’re 17 and girls and boys alike gawk at Liam and Niall and Harry. Zayn still writes to them, compliments Harry on how he’s finally grown into his flop of hair and lanky limbs. Niall jokes that he and Liam have to fight the girls away from him. Harry doesn’t believe it. Liam says he just doesn’t notice things enough. Harry is still caught in a web of teenage loathing, but that’s okay, because they’re young and at the head of the school and he and Liam sneak into broom closets to swap drunken kisses and he gets carried back to his room when he’s too tired to walk. Harry tells himself that he’s happy. He’s 17 and he’s dying to get out of school and see the world in all of it’s terrifying hugeness. (He’s not dying to see Louis, because that would be childish.)

Liam cuts his hair and Niall's voice cracks. Zayn is in love with his art and Louis is gone and Harry hasn’t changed at all.

Harry is 18 and they’re all graduating and Louis and Zayn are there, and the whole world is waiting for Harry to change it, but all he can do is cling to the other four around him because it’s all he knows. Louis grabs him into a hug and noses through his hair. “You can stay with me, if you want,” he mumbles and yeah, Harry wants to. Harry has a crush on Louis and Louis has a crush on Harry and they’re both adults now but neither of them wants to be the first to let go of how they were at 15.

There’s a week where Harry tries to separate himself. He tries to disappear like Louis did, he finds himself in Philadelphia, flicking coins into fountains and spending too much time in museums. It’s a week of living out of a shitty hotel room and missing his mum and missing his friends and missing _Louis_ , but Harry is 18 and he doesn’t want to go running off to his first crush because that would be childish.

Harry makes it a week before he’s landing at the Seattle airport, sheepishly calling Louis and asking him for a ride. When he sees him in baggage claim, Louis is clutching Harry like a lifeline, and Harry is mumbling, “I just wanted you.” Louis pretends not to hear, because with Harry he feels like he’s 15 again.

Harry is 18 and Louis is 20 and Niall and Liam and Zayn are still in England. Niall has grown into his cheekbones and Zayn starts smoking cigarettes to cope with his heart and Liam is so gentle for someone who used to have such bruised knuckles. Louis looks so old and Harry hasn’t changed at all.

Louis’s apartment isn’t much of an improvement from Harry’s hotel room in Philadelphia. Heis working at a corner coffee shop and interning at a publishing company and his accent isn’t so prominent anymore, but he still mutters curse words in a way that makes Harry smile. Louis doesn’t smell like books and sweat anymore—he smells like brown sugar and coffee and ink.

Harry almost pouts when Louis gives him blankets for the couch. He almost pouts but doesn’t, because that would be childish.

“Do…” Louis clears his throat and Harry turns, half-way out of twisting out of his shirt to crawl onto the couch.  He doesn’t miss the way Louis’s eyes flit over Harry’s stomach. “Do you want to sleep. Um. With me?”

Harry is 18 and he still has a wild heart that’s jack-rabbiting in his chest when he nods. And instead of it being strange, he curls himself around Louis as easily as he did when he was 16 and growing and Louis would pout whenever Harry looked down at him. (Louis makes Harry feel so small, though.)

They lay in silence, curled around each other with words unsaid hanging tensely between them. Louis finally rolls over. “Were you ever mad that I took Niall to the winter ball instead of you?” he asks. “I wanted to take you.”

A laugh bubbles up from Harry’s chest before words are spilling from his mouth before he can stop them, because Harry is 18 and he feels like he’s too young to have this many weights in his chest. “You took _Niall_ to the dance,” he begins. “You got drunk and slept in my bed _multiple times_ , and then _threw up in my bathroom_ without so much of a “thanks for letting me steal your covers”. You got me a _spider calendar_ for my 15th birthday when I clearly said I wanted a kitten one. You and Liam put superglue on my doorknob in fifth year because I didn’t let you use my shampoo. You kissed me on graduation day and then left.” Harry feels a stinging behind his eyes but he will not cry, because that would be childish.

Louis is staring at him with a steely look. Harry wonders if he’s going to kick him out. He really doesn’t want to go back to Philadelphia or London or Cheshire. He might be a little bit in love with Seattle (and a lot in love with Louis).

Louis lifts his thumb to his mouth to bite at the skin there but Harry catches his hand in his own and presses his mouth to Louis’s. It’s not like fireworks or sparks. It’s just quiet and deliberate and quick before Harry is embarrassed, ducking his head to tuck it against Louis’s neck.

“I’ve loved you for a long time,” Louis finally says into Harry’s hair, and Harry lets out a noise that’s caught somewhere between a laugh and a sob. Because Harry hasn’t changed at all. He’s watched his friends grow into men and he’s watched this boy with the caramel hair and small hands grow up and make a life for himself. Harry thinks maybe he never really wanted to change the world, and when Louis presses himself closer to Harry’s chest now, Harry thinks maybe the world is fine as it is.

Harry is 20 and he’s noticing how some words sound more American than British. Louis is 22 and he knows exactly how to make Harry’s coffee every morning. Harry knows that Louis likes to sleep with the windows open. Harry is still bright-eyed but he’s settled down into routine. Louis is still precise and gentle but his fingertips aren’t so red anymore.

Harry is 21 and the west coast has treated him well. He’s surrounded by the four people who mean most to him. They’re all getting drunk off cheap beer and eating Chinese food from the place across the street and Harry is on top of the world. Louis in sitting in his lap and Liam is smiling until his eyes crinkle and Zayn isn’t scared to put his head on Liam’s shoulder anymore, and Niall isn’t ashamed of his laughter and Louis is tucking small smiles into Harry’s collarbone and Harry hasn’t changed at all.

 

**Author's Note:**

> everything i write is rambling and run-on sentences im so sorry


End file.
